The following is a true story. I believe we can all agree all theories postulated have now been proven true. (Including Tam’s one about my room.)
Our story begins a long time ago (about ten years) in a suburb called Latham….
Liam: Video Ezy keep calling about ‘An Extremely Goofy Movie’
Josh: We hired it but my dvd player died. I watched the end of it at yours remember?
Liam: Yeah, but it’s not in the dvd player. I have the cover. Where’s the dvd?
A few months later….
Liam: Video Ezy are still calling. No idea where the dvd is. It’ll turn up when I move, you’ll see we’ll clean out the entire room find the dvd sitting there.
Two weeks later….
Liam: Okay, so it’s not here.
Josh: Where the hell is it then?
Liam: I don’t know! The only thing left in the room is those battered prawn tails we found under my bed.
Josh: Did you accidentally throw it out?
Liam: Well I think the clear logical conclusion here is… the prawns stole the dvd.
Josh: That’s not possible.
Liam: Sure it is! We have evidence RIGHT THERE!
(points at the battered prawn tails)
Josh: That does not make ANY SENSE!
Liam: Sure it does. Clearly there is some sort of space-time shortcut to my room that the prawns took advantage of by stealing the dvd.
Josh: PRAWNS DON’T HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS! How would they carry it?!
Liam: I’m certain if a whole bunch of prawns worked together they could totally steal a dvd. Strength in numbers in all that.
Josh: That’s not possible. There’s no way even a group of prawns could carry a dvd. Not without opposable thumbs.
Liam tries to hire a dvd at the same Video Ezy he hired the original dvd (that was almost definitely stolen by prawns) from years earlier.
Video Store Clerk: Uh…. According to our system you have an overdue copy of An Extremely Goofy Movie… with an overdue fee of $587…. That’s still increasing. Because you haven’t returned it.
Liam: You know, on second thoughts, I don’t NEED to hire a dvd today.
Liam quietly leaves the store and recounts the story to his housemate, Tamara.
Tamara does not believe the HIGHLY LOGICAL CONCLUSION that prawns stole the dvd from his bedroom, but is concerned at the fact that at one time it was possible for battered prawn tails to be under his bed without his knowledge. She postulates her own theory that this confirms her boyfriend’s assertions that the smell coming from his room is bad.
Liam adamantly denies her theory and spend the next three days cleaning everything in his room.
Video Ezy closes down. It is believed Liam’s unpaid overdue fee was unrelated.
Further evidence to my theory that those bastard prawns stole my dvd comes to light when I find THIS under my desk at work.
I rest my case.